This was a day like any other, starting out with a very early morning breakfast after kicking out my annoying cat for his morning maul. Seeing as I would not be swimming today I didn't sample my cup of Mauritian Vanilla Tea - which also serves to alleviate morning duties - in a bid to reduce sugar intake and bla bla bla, wtf cares.
Moving swiftly on from where I abandoned the POS yesterday in a flurry of flailing arms and curses, I went and purchased myself a pair of appropriately named Flare spanners from the illustrious Halfrauds for the princely sum of £3.5billion. On arrival at home, I set forth immediately dousing the offending (and offensive - they said bad things to me :() union bolts in plenty of Plusgas, before setting to work on the non-massacred one. And:
Perfectly simple removal and re-installation! The otherside however said NEIN! And continued in its path to be an infinity-sided hex nut (i.e. a circle, i.e. its rounded, i.e. stfu). I have it on dubious Authority - Harvey, he cannot be trusted - that a replacement line will cost me in the region of £70. Lovely. I'll throw in my sphincter as well. Following that, and several failed attempts to remove the annoying locating tabs from one set of the brake hard lines located on the rear axle, I re-attached the wheels, and went around frolicking in the garden with a daisy garland in my hair. On my return, I then raised the front of the car and with little undue hassle got the exhaust system back on its hangers, and bolted onto the downpipe with its new hardware, seeing as I was an absolute Barbarian with the previous units having attacked them repeatedly with a super uber melee combo of destruction. They were absolutely in a dire state. And now they're not:
Naturally, with the exhaust system now in situ', it'd have been unwise to not have started it and enjoy a bit of an eargasm, so, I didn't. Realising the absurd move, I swiftly collected myself and launched myself asunder onto the ignition. And. Wow. That's quite silent, much quieter than I remember! "Awww", quipped my inner yoofness :(. Once warmed up a little bit I jiggled the throttle a bit, naturally, and was enthralled by the resulting crackles from the exhaust and the whooshing and shrill stutter of the turbocharger. Ahhhhh. I'm also impressed with the newly acquired responsiveness of the newer engine. However:
I quickly shut the engine off once the leak progressively got more dramatic and annoying, though on closer inspection I am somewhat relieved, as the leak seems to be emanating not from the water pump assembly itself, but either from a heater hose that's not been tightened correctly, or the pipe that is inserted into the water pump. Meh. Whilst I didn't film this start - you've had your fix, gtfo it - I did point the camera to demonstrate a new facet of discomfort/comfort introduced in this new guise of the vehicles progress:
Yes, as previously intimated, I will be driving an 880kg vibrator. ^_^
Other than that, nothing else has taking place/is taking place/smells like plaice - I am still waiting for a correct passenger-side Driveshaft (will this godfarsaken - yes, I spelt it like that on porpoise! - saga ever end!?), and receiving the driver's side one from the garage, getting the gearbox filled up with lovely 'Purps, and basically just diagnosing all these leaks and electrical issues, tidying up the wiring loom then final assembly. Oh, and that brake line kerfuffle. Otherwise, I am gladly bereft of major proceedings for the return of the wretched car ^_^.
Also, no farking bugs, its not a bug blog, GAWD!
So, this day started as any other, I woke up, had breakfast, had a cup of Mauritian vanilla tea and waited for it to take effect. I consequently then pooped and then went for my bi-daily 1.7km swim.
After which. I did nothing. Well, for a bit, then I bought an HKS FCon-V Pro v3.2. Oh, right, as you do. So, wallet emptied, I decided to then progress a bit further with the POS. Off to my friendly garage and off again after having collected my newly assembled hubs, whereby I was met with yet another delightful setback - the short driveshaft I toiled over for many moons, has turned out to be the incorrect driveshaft yet again. Joy! To add to that, being the vacant minded asshat I can sometimes be, I got grease all over my favourite jacket as I was too absent to remove it from the boot when bringing the hubs back. Bah.
Commencing work and spurred by the fact that the part numbers for the Cynos and Glanza hubs differed, I instigated a quick comparison. Oh dear:
It seems like the steering arm is slightly different on the Glanza hub, appearing to be slightly longer and more inboard. However, this would serve to provide more leverage onto the steering arm, thus in theory imbuing a quicker steering ratio. Could this be a fortunate oversight? Based on these wildly speculative theories, I am looking forward to finding out. Whilst I'm comparing, he's an illustration of the difference in the driveshaft spline diameters between the two cars, the crux of many a heartache: 
The Cynos hub on the left obviously demonstrating a far larger opening for the CV Joint shaft. These will be kept as a spare, regardless, as I am a parts hoarder and only feel satisfied surrounded by greasy bits of metal....*shivvers* ^_^. Anyway, cleaned myself up now. Straight to work with the hubs, which is quite basic anyway; applied copper grease on the tie-rod end and ball joint shafts, slipped the hub onto the ball-joint, tightened the bolt, slipped in the tie-rod end, tightened its bolt, then fit the hub loosely into the strut assembly. However, the annoyance came with one of the most mundane things ever. EVRAR. Lining up the brake caliper bracket with the associated boss holes on the hub. BAH! Such a proliferation of needless faffing was required, but it got done. Not without the passenger-side caliper attempting to kill me by falling on me unannounced. How very dare it. Whilst there, I also replaced the old caliper bolts as I rounded a few of the old ones in my infancy - around a day or two ago. And here's a picture to prove it:
And now with the APP Braided line finally attached:
L'autre flanc aussi:
So a lovely, semi-restored hub assembly, and now with the brake assembly fully installed:
MOAR PICS. 
No moar. For now. After getting the hub assembly installed, the car was ready to be lowered. Ah, well, almost, it needed some means of rolling stock. Enter, the Sparcoluls of destiny:
I do very like, despite the crappy ET7894.5 offset, they don't sit too badly, a 20mm spacer should sort the wheel out very nicely. Confirmed as well when the car touched the ground. Whilst there, I also found myself rather amused by a previous observation of Harveys' and how seemingly the track-rod end positions on the steering arms were at completely different levels - a rather long-winded approach to saying "the tracking is out". And so it proved, with a Bird's eye view of the wheels looking roughly like this ---> \\ || and that's not even much of an exaggeration! Obviously the longer steering arms on the hubs would serve to exacerbate the steering angle (promising). Anyway, no time to dilly dally. Well, actually, plenty of time to dilly dally, I have no real commitments. ANYWAY, dilly dallying done, off to work on the badunkadunk. So, after being - quite a recurring theme seemingly - of the gentler sex and getting a bit apprehensive about lifting the rear of the car without being able to have the car in reverse, before rightly being reminded that rear wheel drive cars are lifted in the same manner, I proceeded to lifting the rear of the car. So, chock blocks in place, Longchamps infront of the chock blocks (not taking any chances), the rear of the car is up and in the air.
First challenge, get the muffler back up on the hanger, and all premonitions of the most annoying struggle in the world, compounded by the surreal effort required to remove the muffler FROM the hanger in the first place, were soon all quashed as I caught sight, of my lovely can of Plusgas. Bit of a spray, bit of a push, done. That's it. DONE! Woot. 
That was easy, so, bolted in the Panhard rod, and progressed onto the rear brake line install. Ah....AHH. Things were going FAR too easy for me. Ofcourse, Damnation rears its ugly head yet again. You cheeky devil...you cheeky, annoying prick. So. Firstly, I was initially confused and disorientated and befuddled, as I looked at the array of 3 million hoses per side for the brakes, and the one braided line. A dormant brain cell then reawakened and brought me to the conclusion, and a remembering of yore, that said line replaced several of these plethora of lines. And all these lines naturally are located with unions. Great. I love union bolts, absolutely heart them ^_^. Festering rusty fiends. So, liberal spraying of Plusgas, and commence, with the main caliper bolt, and nearby union bolts coming undone quite easily, until reaching the final one. Yes, ALWAYS one. Why can't you conform to my requests like your brethren you wretched bane of my existence. And when I force it to conform, it just surrenders and becomes round. KKTHANKX. POS. Bah to you, etc. Cursing. 
So, off to the next side. BASICALLY a repeat effort. Other than this time I do the wise thing (again?!! TF is happening to me) and decide not to destroy the union bolt. After much fidgeting I managed to at least get the brake hoses onto the calipers, and leave it at that. After glaring at the union bolts I then tidied up and went for noms. 
So, Episode 2 will occur shortly, where I shall endeavour to find the right tools for the union bolts - apparently open-ended spanners are for tools - get the exhaust installed, and at least I can start the engine and not have it sounding like an automated fart. From thereon, it'll be a case of diagnostickingneegnednens all the leaks and electrical issues, and then final assembly really! Closing in, a nanometer at a time, and a precursor of things to come:
^_^
Oh and:
I dropped the jack on the Fender >_<
Also, this is a bug on my desk:
^-^
I shall embellish the post when I've stopped gigglroffling
Right, I have now collected myself. So, after the progression that was made after receiving the engine mounts I was elated, as it was a step closer to getting to the crux of the situation - seeing if the car would return to life. As per a previous post, when I tried to start the car the solenoid on the starter would fire but the motor wouldn't turn. I was unperturbed though as I hadn't bolted the two earthing cables from the gearbox and engine yet. So, after sorting those out I returned to starting the engine (albeit with the EFi fuse pulled out to not flood the engine with petrol) and, it cranked!
The two word post obviously a reflection of my excitement at said moment in time. Changing my underwear, I then spent the majority of the day charging the battery and cranking the engine over in order to build some oil pressure and get it running through the turbocharger as an obvious sign of such a case. Once this was achieved (as seen in the preceding post) I halted going further. What?!! You didn't start the car ASAFP?!! Are you insane!! Yes, but only in the membrane. That and seeing as I was missing one measly bolt from the rear engine mount, I figured it'd be wisest to first get that engine mount bolt in place which would then allow me to fit the Anti-roll bar in place, as well as the Tanabe brace and so on, and THEN the exhaust system, so that I wouldn't wake up my cat Sammy who would invariably unleash 7 types of hell on me for disrupting his 23hr nap.
Yes, I know, I don't do wise, but, essentially, I wanted to build up a suspense for myself ^_^.
So, bolt purchased, and installed, and onto the Anti-roll bar. Where are the bolts? *Sigh*. After a few minutes of faffing about I found them on the scuttle and proceeded to installing them...which was an exercise in patience/restraint. Not, as you may presume to save from damaging a component by rushing through the procedure, but rather from stop oneself from starting a genocide. It was just one fiddly annoying thing after another; first lining up the bolts for the anti-roll bar mounts with the silly brackets not willing to conform to your command. Then it was getting the droplinks to sit perpendicular to the lower control arms so they could sit properly once tightened. Pffft, whatever, its on and tightened, I can adjust it later. 
Onto that lovely Tanabe 4 Point Lower Control arm brace! Oh this thing weighs nothing, it'll be a breeze to install! Done! Oh no wait, the exhaust actually has to be WITHIN the brace. Damnit, take 2. So, I have to lift the exhaust over my head whilst blindly trying to thread the bolts in, grand. Wait. It doesn't fit. ARGH! Yes, I have figured out why this is an EP91 fitment only then, as the EP82 engine mount carries the exhaust hangers on it, which get in the way of the mounting bolts. Fabulous! So, Dremeltaim. One hanger came off easily enough, but the other required several million cutting discs to get through, and plenty of hammering. And then they were off, and the brace fit (and yes, I'll be weighing those bits of the hanger I removed ^_^)! Now onto attaching it. Again, fiddly but not too difficult, other than the bolts that fix the lower control arms in place, as the anti-roll bar forces them out of alignment. However, one bolt decided to be especially uncooperative, with the flange on the brace JUST covering it slightly. Yargh! Ignore for now >_<
At this point, I suddenly submitted to my excitement and decided to hell with that cat, he's scared of engines anyway, BAH to you. Before I could so much as even fathom to ignite the engine, I obviously had to fit the oil return. Ah...Yeah. It's actually such a terrible decision made by myself to have this far-too-long hose made up. Essentially, it's so long, that you have to compress it a whole lot just to get it to where you think its lining up, only to tighten it and realise it isn't and has stripped some threads. YAY! To hell with that though, I want to start this ish. 
So, got the battery in place, leads connected, camera in position, trip over a box (editted out obviously), then...STATTOH! As evidenced in the video, I found it quite hard to contain myself, letting out a little pleasure squeal. For those who claim I'm miserable, you saw me climax, so stfu. However, this pleasure was short lived as it was clear to see there was a leak or two. It sufficed me though, it started, therefore I am a master of wiring kkthx. Anyway, that leak was rather annoying - it seemed the gasket for the turbocharger coolant line flange had expired, and I didn't have anything to replace it with. That and I was missing a coolant line rubber, so used one from a PCV valve. Which was too skinny, and not strong enough, so collapsed and inevitably shot pressures way up. Bah to j00! Not only, but it seemed (inevitably) that the oil return fitting was leaking too. So, off came the turbocharger/manifold (to hell with separating them) and off came the coolant lines, and I applied some silicone sealant in a very crude fashion, re-installed the lines and attempted the next morning. Even worse. BAH again.
At this point, what little neuroelectrical stimuli I had in my cranium managed to light up a tiny eureka LED - I'll just loop the coolant line! Is it safe to do so? *Tap tap tap* People on TGTT have done it with no ill effect, done. I also ghetto-fixed the oil return fitting with a rag and a hose-clip just to stave off leaks for a bit. Yes. I ACTUALLY did that. Look, see!
So, with that out of the way, I ventured forth, looped the lines, topped up the water in the radiator, and restarted the engine. All seemed fine and well - I gave the throttle a bit of a tug and response seemed well, though strangely idle would rise if I raised the engine speed gradually, falling back down if I again quickly jerked the throttle butterfly. Meh. I was pleased with the pressure emanating from the valve cover breather too - Rick informed me that the whistle he heard on the video pointed to good crank pressure, ube - and so I continued letting the engine idle for a good few minutes till I worried about the temperature and shut it off. However, we have sprung more leaks. MOAR?!!
Meh, the engine starts, that's a win for me, so GTFO downer moments. It seems that I didn't affix a hoseclip on the water pump hose onto the thermostat, but upon attaching this the leak continued, so that will warrant a further investigation. I also decided in the meantime to fill the brake master cylinder reservoir with some fluid for, I don't know, something to do. So I did. Now to check that leak. Holy Shart, it's still leaking, and what's this, a leak from the driver's side? Odd. Crawl underneath. Ah. That's brake fluid. And it's in my hair. And face. And in me. Lovely. Why is this leaking. WHY ARE YOU LEAKING. Putrid little fiend of my life. Could this point to my earlier brake issues which largely prompted this Sainosu-based destruction over the last few months? Hmmm. Anyway, I want to do something, so, I cleared off residue from the lower control arm brace, waited for the leaking to stop (*sigh*, new bane of my life >_<), and commenced with that silly Tanabe brace. So, off it came, out came the Dremel, or rather, to my hand came the Dremel as I couldn't be bothered to tidy up previously. Grind my lovely new Tanabes, and, re-assemble. Vittoire! Loosely tighten the nuts, jiggle in those annoying lower control arm bolts, and, torqued! 
In the meantime, I also went on a little panic-induced spending spree, starting with two AN8 to barbed fitting and a silly expensive Samco elbow to replace that braided return fitting (worst. purchase. EVRAR), a flexible silicone hose for the coolant lines. Oh, and I put a deposit on an HKS FCon V-PRO ECU. TF?!. Yup ^_^
So what next?
- Hopefully receive my hubs shortly and get those installed
- Affixing all the ball-joints and brakes and so on
- Get the wheels on
- Lower the car, get the muffler on its hangers
- Raise the front end again, get the exhaust system on its hangers, and installed on the downpipe, tighten both
- Lower the local population count of some pigeons and annoying warbling birds that disturb my peace
- Try to cure some leaks by fitting new hosing etc
- Lower car and fill the gearbox with some Royal Purple loveliness
- Hit the car if it leaks again
- Then, I don't know, figure new things out, and new things to waste money on
OHH! And how could I forget - my car is actually a vibrator now. The dirt. The SACRED dirt that is imperative to the cars' notoriety. Was actually being shaken off, by this vibrations. I'm copyrighting this, Ann Summers is only a couple of miles away. HAH!
Also, no more bugs on my window sill (<_<)
Also, another bug on my window sill:
^_^
It cranked
A bit of a tame heading by all accounts, but after the heart transplant, the momentum has been slowed somewhat by the fact the engine wasn't fully installed yet and as such limited the other jobs that could be done. However, in the spirit of maintaining progress I decided to do a couple of things whilst I waiting for the Trevvy Special Mounts. So, I installed the CT9 and manifold in place, ready for when I can torque everything down, and loosely assembled the downpipe - reason being that I've always needed plenty of manoeuvring when tightening the downpipe and exhaust assemblies.
After which I was left with not much to do at all, other than wait for the new mounts, as attempting to attach any lines or cabling could create snagging or tension and plenty of crying at broken parts during the inevitable movement of the engine when installing the new engine mounts. And after about a weeks' lull of progress, I was greeted by a lovely sight: 
They actually just appeared on my desk, super cereal! Ok, not really, but anyway, I was ecstatic, yet another push forward for some progress! So ecstatic infact that I went straight to install them, and as is obvious with such cases, rushing a procedure is a quick way to issues. And so it began. There were no bolts for the new C56 Bracket for the gearbox (which was omitted on purchase), but that would prove redundant as I just pilfered the requisite bolts from my old gearbox - the guy made me wait long enough to collect the gearbox. However, seeing as the mount design on the Optional-LSD gearboxes varies slightly, typically ONE bolt wouldn't work, but I had enough to at least affix the mount and bracket in place.
Once done, I then had the issue of attempting to line up said components in order to get the fixing bolt through the mount. Which proved fruitless - the old mounts were so worn that jacking up the engine resulted it in doing so lop-sidedly and not sitting within the bracket. On this basis I figured it'd be best to install the other two mounts first as then the engine should then just lift straight up!....O_o
So, I dropped down the gearbox side and removed the mount, swapped the new mount onto the bracket and tried to jack the engine back up. However, the mount was fouling, so much so that even with the car starting to lift - and hence, the weight of the car forcing down on the mount - it still wasn't slotting into the bracket. I cried to Harvey via text who replied in a typical derisory fashion explaining something about using a "drift" and muscle and I don't know what else as I don't pay attention. So, armed with a B&Q pry-bar, I tweaked the bracket a little bit whilst raising the car and eventually it slotted in, and with a bit more adjustment I lined up the bolt and tightened it in. 
The engine side mount was a relative breeze, and after which the rear mount was an easy install. 
You may have noticed something in the pictures as well. Yes, I got a new desk and I damaged it during assembly (>_<). I also however, got in the latest prototype of the Transparent Cambelt Covers I'm getting made, and whilst I do like to look fabulous, I do not condone the mixing of Orange and Pink, it looks vile. The cover does look lovely though, barring some fitment issues. 
Straight after getting the mounts in I quickly bolted in the braided clutch hose and bled the clutch - yes, I am a superhuman, I bled the clutch, ON MY OWN. With a one-way bleed-hose naturally ^_^. Sitting back down after a quick clutch bleeding though, mondieu, that is a ridiculously heavy clutch pedal. TF!? It was only an organic uprated clutch! Oh this is going to be amusing...Oh yeah, this is only a single paddle clutch disc. My 5E will have TWO discs ^_^
Resuming from whining to myself about the newfound heft to the clutch pedal - take that you that lambasted the previous Granny-light pedal feel, I have a MAN'S pedal now - I was left with not much else to do, yet again. Why? I hear you think (yeah, I'm in your head) - it's that bolt missing from the rear engine mount. In essence, the anti-roll bar sits directly underneath it, so I cannot tighten that assembly until I have the bolt. Which means I cannot lift the exhaust system onto its hangers. Which in turn means I cannot affix my Tanabe Lower Control Arm brace. So on. Unfortunately, my badly timed (on a Friday) and frantic research for a bolt proved fruitless, so it will unfortunately mean another progress-free weekend.
Then all of a sudden, it came to me in a daze - I could attempt to crank over the engine! Z0mg! Once I collected myself up from my girly hysteria, I started plugging the loom back into the appropriate connectors, bolted the fuel line onto the fuel filter an so forth, to the point that essentially the engine was ready to turn. Having charged the battery I connected the battery negative in a rather rudimentary manner and attempted to turn the engine over (with the coil disconnected and EFi fuse pulled out). Nothing. The starter solenoid fires, but it doesn't turn. You would think I would've been disappointed (ofcourse I frickin' am, it didn't turn over!!11one!) however...nothing caught fire either! So I am not left dismayed, as I neither tightened the bolts onto the starter, nor did I bolt down all the earthing wires that attach to the gearbox and engine mount. My darling Rick is supposed to assist me shortly in trying to get the engine cranked over, so once he arrives, stops laughing/crying/aggravating hysterically at the sight of the wiring loom, we'll attempt that again. If all else fails, Trevvy's going to have the pleasure of labouring over my handiwork ^-^
With that out of the way, and the engine safely in situ', I ventured forth to remove yet more evil superfluous weight out of the car, namely the rather substantial looking exhaust heatshield mounted underneath the floorpan. Getting over an initial claustrophobia I moseyed on with my ball-joint separator to easily extricate the first of fixing mounts. The rearmost mounts utilised a pair of 10mm bolts/nuts and were easily disposed of, but the middle fixture was a bit more laboured, and required a bit of Dremel coaxing with a cutting disc, and then a lot of massaging with the pry bar, but it too was then removed. If only its substantial appearance transferred to equally meaningful weight savings - damn aluminium - though 646.8g does surpass the culmination of the latest of weight saving measures ^_^.
With that completed, I also figured it would be an ideal as time as any to fit the new Cusco Brake Master Cylinder stopper, this time in contention with the bigger Levin Master Cylinder. Installation was straightforward but a bit of careful orchestration of the tightening of the bolts was required as the much reduced clearance afforded by the greater master cylinder meant that the stopper spacer needed to be forced in slightly, but no matter, it fit! Though I think I may have stripped the threads on the end of the engine mount bolt >_<.
Finally I have arrived to the present, after a 1.5month lack of updates, and so, what is left? Not much in essence - get the engine cranked over and primed, get the engine to fire and warmed up, and oil checked, get the wiring sorted out, get the driveshafts/hubs in/on and a couple of little jobs. Essentially, barring the wiring loom, all that is left is menial fitting of parts and ancillaries and the car is hopefully ready to terrorise the general populus.
And, this is a bug I saw on my window sill 
^-^
P.S. New weight saving total is now 10.1866kg ^_^
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